Sigh.
It is raining and I am alone for the first time in weeks and I know that I am holding onto so much and I know that I need time to be still and quiet and just tune into the sound of the rain hitting the ground and the house. To relish in being here with all this space and all this possibility....
Knowing how to fall without bracing for impact, how to be soft, fluid, malleable, permeable and to be able to shift, morph, be open and receptive. How do I take the pressure off? How do I be in the body? How do I really tune in without feeling over stimulated?
I know how to drop into the work. I know how to reside in the movement, the place where my attention narrows and I am not in two places but my whole self is working as one, body tuned, "being moved". But how do I teach that commitment and focus?
What am I afraid of?
Never pushing far enough.
Never taking a big enough risk.
These thoughts represent the pull I feel in my roles as performer and choreographer in this work. The dance is research into living, on how to attend to the body and listen to its need. I am learning how to take care of myself, how to recover, how to recharge, rewiring my desire to attend to others before I tend to myself. But I am not alone in this performance. I am sharing the stage with four other movers with their own histories and habits, needs and desires. How do I balance the individual and collective? How do I organize the ideas swirling around in both my writing and the dancing? When do I edit?
It is raining and I am alone for the first time in weeks and I know that I am holding onto so much and I know that I need time to be still and quiet and just tune into the sound of the rain hitting the ground and the house. To relish in being here with all this space and all this possibility....
Knowing how to fall without bracing for impact, how to be soft, fluid, malleable, permeable and to be able to shift, morph, be open and receptive. How do I take the pressure off? How do I be in the body? How do I really tune in without feeling over stimulated?
I know how to drop into the work. I know how to reside in the movement, the place where my attention narrows and I am not in two places but my whole self is working as one, body tuned, "being moved". But how do I teach that commitment and focus?
What am I afraid of?
Never pushing far enough.
Never taking a big enough risk.
These thoughts represent the pull I feel in my roles as performer and choreographer in this work. The dance is research into living, on how to attend to the body and listen to its need. I am learning how to take care of myself, how to recover, how to recharge, rewiring my desire to attend to others before I tend to myself. But I am not alone in this performance. I am sharing the stage with four other movers with their own histories and habits, needs and desires. How do I balance the individual and collective? How do I organize the ideas swirling around in both my writing and the dancing? When do I edit?